So it is most definitely approaching that time of year again. Yes, that time that once excited you greatly as a child, and spread that big, cheesey smile across your tiny little milk teeth is most certainly upon us. With age you may have started to realise however, just how conceited and pointless this ever encroaching time of year has become. As cynical and ‘humbug’ as it sounds, the morals of this once joyous and family orientated event have undoubtedly lost their way, in what can only be described as a thick and blindingly over-bearing shower of shite. I am of course, talking of the X Factor final.
As a child, I used to be in awe of the likes of Pop Idol and Popstars’ the Rivals, and used to fully and firmly believe that such a TV show can take normal, individual, every day people, and miraculously transform them into a pop sensation. In its time and in its day, it was indeed groundbreaking television. There are some people, however, who indulge in such blissful naivety and still believe that the X Factor is singularly focused upon giving normal people the opportunity to fulfil their dreams and make it in the music business. For those people, I present to you this very clear and defined statement; the X Factor is merely, in metaphorical terms, a classic documentation of a cold and immorally profitable factory, in which before your very eyes, you are exposed to Simon Cowell’s lobotomised workers churn out product after product of boring, generic and formulaic shit.
You don’t believe me? Tell me, who won the X Factor 2 years ago? Where are they now? Are they really the groundbreaking, global phenomenon the X Factor made out they would be? The truth of the matter is, no matter how warm the ‘judges’ are to their contestants, no matter how many tears they dribble down your television screen, no matter how many emotional sob-stories they smear in your faces, at the end of the day, the makers of the show could really not give less of a shit about the contestants, or indeed the damage they are doing to the music industry.
You can’t really blame Cowell for reaping the profits of a completely brain-dead nation though. It’s no skin off of his overly botoxed forehead if poor old Matt Cardle can’t sell records and has become a nobody after the hype of his ‘X Factor journey’ has died out. If anything, it’s just another excuse for another series and another chance to add another cliched and frankly boring singer to his ‘talent pool’.
I know it just sounds as though I’m mindlessly ranting, and I apologise if I sound as though I’m being all high and mighty, but I just can’t help myself; the X Factor really, in plain terms, just MASSIVELY pisses me off. How is it fair that someone can be catapulted into the bright spotlight of public eye and be hailed as ‘the next big thing’, when all they really have is a mediocre singing voice and a pretty face? They always highlight how they have ‘struggled’ to make it into the music industry, but that is hardly an excuse enough to suffice and justify taking the easy way out and selling your soul to the depths of Cowell’s psycho labyrinth is it? There are bands and real artists out there, who are virtually undiscovered and absolutely working their arse off to even get a fraction of recognition the contestants on the X Factor get.
Another thing that really makes me laugh, is these so-called ‘judges’ that have been brought in to ‘mentor’ these new and up and coming ‘artists’. By all means, I understand Gary Barlow, he is a credited artist with years of valid experience, but what is that Tulisa bint doing sat next to him? She absolutely infuriates me. Just a common-bred chad, with a mediocre singing voice and a big enough ego to fill the Grand Canyon several times over. Is it just me, or does she make everything she wears, be it Gucci, Prada etc, just look like it’s from Primark? Vile. And Louis Walsh… just wow, what a joke. He has to have deep and disturbing dirt on Cowell to still be on the judging panel after almost 10 years.
I think I best stop this rant before I get way over frustrated with the horrible state of the modern music industry. I am going to go lie down, get myself a drink of water and calm down. For all of you who might disagree with what I have written, I have decided I am going to sit down on Saturday, watch the X Factor, and seriously study it and try to work out the fascination. This will most certainly require a follow up blog. I will keep you all posted.