Controlling Anger

ANGER (ang-ger)
noun
1. a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
2. Chiefly British Dialect . pain or smart, as of a sore.
3. Obsolete . grief; trouble.

Anger is something that we all feel fairly often in our lives. In the spectrum of color psychology it occupies the color red. Yes, it shares a space with lust, passion, love, and many other positive emotions. But it also shares space with aggression.

Now, by no means am I a psychologist. I do, however, do a lot of reading into psychology. The human brain is fascinating and I enjoy reading about it which is why I believe that you can use anger just as well as you can use passion and desire as a source of energy and motivation. Again, I’m not a psychologist, and this is just my opinion.

For a moment let’s pretend that you have one goal in your life. It doesn’t matter what it is; what matters is that you have a 20 year plan that will get you there. Now let’s say that 5-years into your plan one thing, one person, one event, prevents you from completing your plan. How would you feel? Depressed? Defeated? Angry?

I am convinced that once you get past the feeling of defeat and depression, you would probably be angry. Angry at the thing that stood in your way maybe even angry at yourself for failing. You can get past that anger though. Just as desire fuels you to achieve your goals, and passion drives desire; anger can also push just as hard as passion can. The problem people have with anger is that they often lose sight of the goal by letting rage take over. Rage and anger are different. Rage is an extreme manifestation of anger while anger is a natural human emotion. The majority of people don’t act on their rage, they bathe in it every day. They emotionally (and sometimes physically) beat themselves up because they are angry at something.

I was there once; I went through depression, then anger, and I beat myself up because of stupid decisions I made years ago. The trick to using anger as a driving force is to control where it is directed and to not let it control you. Anger lets you make decisions you wouldn’t normally make when using the more “friendly” emotions. Sometimes they aren’t the right decisions admittedly, but that is where the secret lies. If you can control your anger, you will be able to look at a situation from both sides of the coin. Ask yourself, “What are the outcomes of this situation if I am fueled by the ‘cool colors’ of the emotional spectrum.” and “what if I let myself be fueled by the ‘warmer colors’?”. That’s probably not the best way to put it, but if you can control your anger you can direct it where it needs to go. As Bruce Banner said in The Avengers: “That’s my secret. I’m always Angry.”

So how do you control it? I’ll leave it up to you to figure that out. I’m sure there are many ways to focus your anger. Personally, I use meditation for 20 minutes, every day. It seems like a long time and you may be saying, “Who has 20 minutes so sit and do nothing?” but if you experienced the benefits of meditation for 20 minutes every day, you would make time.

As Bruce Banner said in The Avengers: “That’s my secret Captain, I’m always angry.”

By Alex Hicks

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