What Music means to me

As a military child moving around through multiple school systems, I always had a hard time making friends and as such, I was bullied a lot. I spent my first few years of school in Ontario, where I had a solid number of friends and nobody really picked on me, but when my family moved to Nova Scotia, everything changed. I made a couple friends (one of whom will be my friend until the day I die) but the majority of the other students picked on me a lot.

Around grade 8 I took to listening to music; a lot of music. I initially just listened to country music because that was what I grew up listening to, but as I grew up and the more I was bullied, the more my tastes in music changed. They moved further away from the loving comfort of old country music, into the dark place that was punk, and eventually into dark metal.

Music became my coping mechanism. If I had a hard day at school, I would get home and rush to my room and turn up my music. I would just lie in bed with my music on.

When I finally got an MP3 player in high school, music became my life. If we were just working in class, I had my headphones in. Walking anywhere, I had my headphones. I even slept with a radio on for a few years. I shut out the world because I was sick of it not caring about me.

Now, I listen to very little country, a lot of symphonic and dark metal, some rock and even some punk still, but it took me until graduating college to realize that I may have been sick of the world not caring, but there was very little I could do to make the world care. So I stopped dwelling on it. Today I finally found a genre that is a combination of a genre that I am not a huge fan of and one that I loved for the majority of my life. Classical and Electronic. I’ve always found classical music inspiring and moving but Electronic always struck me as simply noise.

I started listening to Dexter Britain today, and he successfully revitalized my taste in classical music with a nice modern twist.

Least to say; I still wear headphones everywhere I go, I still listen to music while I work and I still use music to shut out the world when I want to be alone. I never really had a happy place to go, or a place where I could really be cut off from everything, so I used music to create one. I formed my own little world of notes, instruments and lyrics in my head.

I still have that one really good friend I made in elementary school and now that I’m done college, I realize that the world cares less about me now than it did back then. But that’s okay, because no matter how bad things may get, the music will still be beautiful.

By Alex Hicks


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